For someone with such a visible and often vociferous presence in the world, I live what amounts to a secret life. Among my day-to-day friends and acquaintances my passions and purpose stays fairly hidden like some sort of mystery ailment. I chat with the moms outside my youngest daughter’s school or at one of her sports events, and we stick to our common currency – the school and all the vagaries of the preteen years. They are vaguely aware that I write books of a strange and dubious nature, and most are too abashed to inquire about what on earth it is that I do. Spirit almost never enters the conversation.
The same is true of the people on the street where we live. My neighbors, all kind and generous people, have only come together to fight a common cause: a mobile phone company that attempted to put up a batch of cell towers in our part of town. Without that link, our friendship remains superficial, with my family regarded as the block’s lovable but decidedly misguided oddballs.
So it felt like a revelation last week when I attended a meeting of Transformational Leaders Council, a group started by Jack Canfield to bring together thought leaders in human transformation. The group includes some household names in the personal development movement but also many newcomers to the field, and the content of the weekend’s events are highly spiritual, designed to help each member evolve.
From the moment I walked into the hotel, I noticed how supportive and interested the various members were in each person’s work. Although I was a novitiate, I was greeted like a long-lost friend with each of my new acquaintances expressing great knowledge of and interest in my life’s work.
There was nothing of the usual gossip and casual cruelty of most human interaction; we talked about and applauded each other’s endeavours, and when I spoke among this group of seasoned pros, I have never had such an attentive audience. Within days, I had met and had some intimate exchange with virtually all the 140 attendees, much of which included conversation about deeply spiritual issues. For once, the conversation set me alight and I was attending with every pore. We spoke a common shorthand, without the need for explanation or justification.
The only time that I have experienced such a group of likeminded souls was when I was pregnant with my first daughter and I met weekly with my antenatal group – all women interested in natural birth. There we also created a mutually supportive organization and also spoke each other’s language.
On the final day at the TLC meeting, we were asked to discuss something we were grateful for about the weekend. Although I could recount countless examples of individual random acts of kindness, it was to the entire group itself that I offered my gratitude. They had given me what may be the most essential unit in the human condition: a tribe.
I was reminded of Roseto, a small town in Pennsylvania, where an entire Italian community had transplanted itself. Rich lived beside poor without jealousy, but the most remarkable aspect of Roseto was its defiance of the usual medical statistics. Although the inhabitants smoked and ate junk food, the town’s heart attack rate was far below the national average. Roseto had created a close-knit clan, and that connection overroad any environmental insult.
I have been experimenting with group intention at our workshops, and we find that this connection- the strong and likeminded community - the most powerful antidote to the challenge of living. May you find your tribe.
30 responses so far ↓
1 Francie // Jul 25, 2008 at 10:38 am
Thank you for giving a name to the book club group that four dear friends and I have recently started. Each of us in our own way was (and is) the outsider in our families of origin. Our group is a safe place, where we can share our spiritual growth freely, and celebrate each others accomplishments and support each individual’s growth.
Your experience (in my case with the other parents during my son’s childhood) is my experience.
Richest Blessings,
Francie
2 julie Ann Storr // Jul 25, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Hi Lynne
I enjoyed your post and also our synchronistic (albeit fleeting) meeting at Bodhi Bookstore in West Hollywood a couple of weeks ago (you may recall I met you in the bookstore just before your talk, before I headed to the airport for my flight to Sydney on 9 July).
Your message today was relevant and timely and reminded me of the importance of connecting with my ‘tribe’ - people who just ‘get it’ without effort or needing to try/explain etc…hence why I feel so comfortable on the West Coast - loved my 2.5 weeks in Boulder!
It was also the second time in just the last few hours that the Transformational Leadership Council has popped up within my field of awareness. So I’ll check it out - definitely my kind of tribe, and would like to explore how I can be a part of it and contribute my awareness, skills, abilities to making a difference.
Look forward to staying in touch.
Kind Regards,
Julie Ann Storr
nibbana.com.au
(promoter/spiritual community in Australia and promoter for luminaries such as Dr Joe Dispenza, Dr Fred Alan Wolf, Neale Donald Walsch and Dan Millman etc)
3 Su Crutchfield // Jul 25, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Thank you, Lynne, for the beautiful post. I’ve experienced both the superficial connections with business contacts and neighbors (and sadly, often family), as well as the deeper, tribal connections with various support groups over the years (La Leche League, our unschooler’s group, etc.) When you describe being able to “attend with every pore” at a spiritual event I thought, “Oh, how wonderful for her! And, oh how much I want more of that too.” My spiritual tribe has been mostly made up of authors, such as yourself - people that I don’t really know and with whom I don’t have a back and forth exchange (at least not yet
You’ve inspired me to look at why that is, and to start looking for more ways for me to connect with my spiritual tribe.
Su Crutchfield
4 Lou Huckaba // Jul 25, 2008 at 2:21 pm
It’s true. . . when we connect. Your books are a continuing source for me as I connect quantum truths with the bible–it’s so explosive!!!
5 Denise // Jul 25, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Over the last five years or so a few of us have manifested a walking group of women that - truth be told - is in reality a spirit group. We walk in the Dundas Valley in a beautiful carolinian forest that has been conserved by our city. The scenery is breathtaking, we regularly see deer and many varieties of birds. Periodically we take an extended walk to one of the many waterfalls contained within these woods.
There are healers among us - of mind, body, spirit and space. We experience the support and celebration that Lynn described in her post. We learn from each other and I can feel the enhanced vibration when we enter into a conversation where spirit is clearly present. We have truly found our tribe!
6 Rawbin // Jul 25, 2008 at 4:02 pm
This is so true. I have found a connection, with an uplifting and informative group of friends through Twitter. I really have benefited from them being there constantly making miniblogs keeping me on the right track, encouraging me when I’m dragging, praising me when I succeed! They’re my Raw Food Twitter Tribe.
7 Maggie // Jul 25, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Lynne,
I said a prayer yesterday that Iwould find my own kind soon, as we have relocated from Southern California to New York. It’s not easy, but I am looking forward to meeting my new tribe as well. My intention is that it happens soon! Thank you…I feel better after knowing you and others are going through this as well.
8 Greg // Jul 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm
So much of my childhood and early adulthood was spent tribe-less and on my own, having just very surface-level connections with others (if at all) and WAY too much of the “gossip and casual cruelty” that Lynn spoke of. It has caused an automatic defensiveness in me, a wall that I put up between myself and virtually everyone else, just to screen out all their harsh judgements and misunderstandings.
For several years now, I gave up and just focused on my work, but I am starting to realize I need others around me who are spiritual and liberal, and I know I need to find my tribe. Thank you for putting into words some feelings I’ve had for a long time.
9 Lyn // Jul 25, 2008 at 11:53 pm
I’ve thought about this for 5 years now. I called it “my pack”. I still haven’t really found it - out there. But I feel it whenever I read something like what you just wrote. Thanks.
10 Jan (Jeannette) // Jul 26, 2008 at 12:37 am
I am still looking for my tribe.
11 Jan (Jeannette) // Jul 26, 2008 at 12:48 am
While I am still looking for my tribe. I read an interesting book the other day.” Life On Earth: The Game a Manual for those who didn’t bring theirs”- by Randall C. Shelton. It is a short little book.
12 Karie LaFlamme // Jul 26, 2008 at 2:00 am
Thank you Lynne so much for all you do. I have been amazed by the grace of your work for years. I was so taken by your report of the superficiality and lack of interest and awareness of our spiritual nature. Your experiences of daily interactions so hit the main line for me and certainly many others. When you spoke of the usual gossip and casual cruelty that is the norm and your appreciation for the TLC I immediately began to investigate the forum. Thank you for this beautiful post. It feels such a tragedy that your reports are so clearly true and yet at the same time I felt almost relieved that I wasn’t the only one who experiences a kind of ongoing shock to how so few folks are aware of their deeper being in my stream of daily life. So thank you thank you thank you for being here Lynne and for sharing so many positive links to gather as the ONE. Many Blessings and Love to you and yours…
13 gillian j // Jul 26, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Super synchronicity. Just arrived at the library pc (not having my own) having written to a uk group called Blue Skies who seem to be on an environmentally-spiritually-friendly basis. I asked them more about themselves as they seemed to be the “tribe” I have so far failed to connect with. Even more intriguing - the comment from Dundas - it just happens to be the place to which my dearest friend from NZ has gone to stay with her “soul mate!” Her dream come true after many years….thank you everyone out there for the “connection!”
14 Louisette, The Netherlands // Jul 27, 2008 at 9:17 am
Lately I find that there are people who belong to “my tribe” but, like me, live a secret life. Once I try to talk to someone about a certain subject , like spirituality, I soon find out if they are of my tribe or not. And surprisingly, there are more and more people with whom, in one way or another, I connect.
Maybe it is just that we don’t open up enough and lead too much of a secret life? Maybe the time has come to be more extravert about our secret life?
I also find that people may not completely understand what it is that I am on about, but they respect me for it.
Maybe we are trying to “fight” or “rebel” too much. We should try to reach out more to the people around us.
As was spoken in the musical “Time” by Dave Clarke: “Reason is your greatest tool. It creates an atmosphere of understanding…. When your thinking is in order, your words will flow directly from the heart, like a stone that is thrown into a pond, creating ripples of love.”
And furthermore, our deeds show who we are, not our thoughts. What is the point of living a secret life in your head, and not manifesting what you stand for?
Thank you, Lynne, for making us realise and wake up to the world around us.
Namaste.
15 Lesley // Jul 28, 2008 at 10:49 am
I also recently came across the word tribe to describe a group of people who I know I can talk freely and comfortably with about ‘what is happening to us here on our little planet’. It was at workshop a couple of weeks ago and the presenter welcomed us to our tribe. I loved the term immediately and could associate it straight away to another ‘tribe’ that we have initiated locally made up of a few likeminded friends with our intention circle. So I am very fortunate to have two tribes at the moment and intend to have many more in our quest to help our little planet and its inhabitants. Power to the tribe and love and peace to you all.
16 Denise // Jul 28, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Me again from Dundas. I am finding it easier and easier to have conversations with people about spirituality but it does require that taking a risk. I had a conversation with my Catholic family recently about a short course I’m thinking of developing - a sort of intro to the new spirituality for people who are interested but don’t know where to start. They all thought it was ‘needed’.
For those who haven’t found their tribe yet, look for a meditation group or keep searching til you find the right yoga teacher. Find a local metaphysical bookstore and go to some of their classes. You may not find your tribe right away but you will be in the company of like-minded people. Oddly enough, our walking/spirit group started with three of us who had connected through politics.
It’s all about raising the vibration and co-creating the field!
17 FLOWEROFTHEFLOCK // Jul 31, 2008 at 2:27 am
The ‘tribe’ into which I was born is fragmented, torn apart, and will never be repaired; the rents in the fabric are not suitable for this forum.
However, I’m interested and even eager in finding a tribe that more easily lends itself to freedom of expression and truth, as well as the sanctity of privacy and expression. Other than meditation/yoga groups, where else might one chance an encounterthat could bring like minds together?
18 Richard // Jul 31, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Dear Lynn,
I must admit although throughout my life I have joined various religious groups, I have never felt what I am supposed to feel. I began to think that I must be an alien from another planet because I had always been searching for the true meaning of my existence, and I suddenly realised why I had been finding it so difficult.
When I was a small child I went through a ND experience and from that moment I have never feared death and maybe that was my problem!
From the deepest depths of my being I always knew the amazing love and peace I felt as I was going to the light and I had been hiding the truth from myself.
I realised I had been searching for my true Home and now my search has ended and I can get on with my life because I Know we are all on the journey back home from the moment we come into life on our Mother Earth.
I no longer feel an alien because I know we are all part of the same tribe!
Now I understand
19 Dr. Cindy // Aug 11, 2008 at 2:37 am
Those of us who live in the DFW area in North Texas are seeking other like-minded mental explorers. We come from various academic backgrounds (Neuroscience to Dance Therapy to Library Science to Sociology to Women’s Studies) but are always seeking means to integrate new concepts. Anyone else near us?
20 Your personal intention experiments | The Intention Experiment // Aug 12, 2008 at 4:35 pm
[…] few weeks ago I wrote on my Living The Field blog about finding your tribe - a strong and likeminded community within which you can learn and grow and become more conscious. […]
21 Megan // Aug 12, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Hi everyone. My name is Megan and I live in Clearwater, FL. Thank you for your beautiful post, Lynn. Like everyone else, it really resonated with me and made me feel better that there wasn’t something ‘wrong with me’ for feeling like most of the interactions I have like you explained, are superficial and spiritless or what I’ve tended to refer to as somewhat ‘meaningless’. I believe that everyone truely desires these conversations and interactions…or what could be explained as slowly having the curtains pulled from one’s eyes, or the elevation of the human collective consciousess or human transformation. I truely believe the elevation of the human collective consciousness or the spiritual awakening of the human race is imperative if we are to sustain ourselves as a human species here on planet earth. Now, just turning 24, through searching and investigating, and following one link to the next, I’m finally defining more of what I want to do and need to do, and what my soul is calling me to do. Now that Lynn has so eloquently articulated my similar feelings of tribelessness, she has with all of you, provided a forum which will allow me to finally connect with my tribe…you guys :). Where I can begin, like all of you are, to take an active role in positively affecting the human condition. I’m very grateful to Lynn and you all for that…it’s truely a gorgeous expression of God. Any suggestions or any groups that are meeting in and around Clearwater, FL??? I’m really looking forward to hearing from you all…Hugs!
22 Margaret Harris // Aug 13, 2008 at 2:18 am
Hello from Dundas, Ontario–[a fellow walker with Denise.]
Sometime ago I decided to become a lone wolf with my own “inner” tribe. Since I am now in the ” so called” senior category–it is pure delight to have a sense of pride in a tribal/spiritual connection.
Growing up in Nature has been a wondrous asset for me in all my Life– in getting through the ” stuff” of Life. Just Listen and Nature will reveal to you [ what our aboriginal shamans have been aware for eons]
We all are Universally connected–what JOY!! What vibrational Bliss!!
Namaste
Margaret
23 Katherine // Aug 13, 2008 at 10:42 pm
This is just the kind of life I have started living. I started my retreat center on line and am finishing my Reike Masters attunements. Then I will complete my Yoga trainer cert. I have my Doctorate in Theology completed and It is time for the retreat center to move forward.
What you call tibe is like minded people to me. We are all over and networking is so very important for us. We tend tro hide ourselfs as so many do not understand being in the Light of the Moment.
24 Michelle // Aug 14, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Dear Lynne, dear soul family,
For my feeling it is only one mainkind and one tribe !
!
When we acces freedom, living in a state of compassion and unconditional love, we start to
transform so much all around us because we know
how to comunicate with everybody, everything… nature, water, animals, plants… on all the levels of the creation. . .
We are living in such a great, wonderful and magical world
25 Anna // Aug 16, 2008 at 2:30 pm
The poet Rumi wrote this
Be with those who help your being
Be with those who help your being.
Don’t sit with indifferent people, whose breath
comes cold out of their mouths.
Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.
A chunk of dirt thrown in the air breaks to pieces.
If you don’t try to fly,
and so break yourself apart,
you will be broken open by death,
when it’s too late for all you could become.
Leaves get yellow. The tree puts out fresh roots
and makes them green.
Why are you so content with a love that turns you yellow?
Ode 2865 Trans. Coleman Barks
Lots of love to you - look for those people who help your being - believe they are out there. Ask for them to come. Axx
26 Margaret // Aug 23, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Lynn,
After over 30years on the spiritual path I came across your cds on the book Living the field,in the process of listening suddenly everything I ahve been connected to and done all these years finally had a connection. I cannot begin to explain the validation,and confirmation you have provided and the inspiration to move forward,and stay open.I have shared this with a work mate and we are embarking on raising the energy in our work tribe, THANK YOU …….
27 Arleen Shamon // Nov 29, 2008 at 11:13 am
Hello! all you wonderful light beings ! how wonderful what is beginning to happen in the world!! within us!
I would just love some support in my “forgetting” I have been to many many retreats and sat with some amazing teachers yet when the illusion seems so real I am reaching for support and rememberance.
So I call out to you fellow tribe members for your support - help me to remember
Blessings
My beautiful Sai Maa said you are never separate from who you are the is your illusion!
28 Carolyn Nau // Dec 22, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Finding my tribes…yes plural…has been the most supportive healing thing in my life. Finally went from “the odd one” to being part of a community of people who I could share all the “weird” stuff with. I met my spiritual teacher in 1992, and through her discovered a huge group of people who use meditation and intent to live and shape their lives.
Thru working with the BioElectric Shield Company my tribe continues to expand as I converse with customers who are searching as well. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had which start “I know you’ll think this is strange, but…” and end with “Thank you for letting me know I’m not crazy…alone…etc”
I recently shared a Shield with my hairdresser, who later reported that unbeknownst to him a lot of his customers were actually into energy, and crystals, but no one talks about these things until they know they’re talking to someone who’s open to it. So what would happen if we had conversations with people we know who aren’t in our “tribe” at least that we know of. I think we might find more and more people thrilled to open up and share and find their tribe. I’m often surprised at the people who open up and connect at just a mention of spirit. Let’s expand our tribe.
29 PowerpeaceMaster // Jan 2, 2009 at 9:37 pm
I resent it when people say that associations on the Internet can not be as meaningful as physical associations. The Internet is 10% of what it will be by the end of next year and it is all about relationships. Yes there is some fraud. There is in the regular world too. Look at the financial mess.
30 Kellia // Jan 18, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Hi! I just finished reading The Field and started the Intention Experiment yesterday. The lack of tribe has been one of the root causes of the health and financial problems I have had. I have always had a few friends, some going back over 30 years. But I have always lacked the wider community. A group of videographers I have met on the Internet in the last 18 months may be the beginnings of a tribe for me, personally. I am still looking for the tribe for my work. People who would benefit from it and be willing to support it materially. (I’m a leftist journalist).
I am very interested in what the new science of the field has to say about the importance of tribe to one’s health. I know that a healer I went to last summer asked me if I had other women to talk to.
Leave a Comment